


Between the Lines

by oreob1tch



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Did I Mention Angst?, I promise it's not that bad, M/M, Non AU, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Other members appear too, Rated M for language, So much angst, also the Boyz appear, pls, pls read it, there's angst, they're idols
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 18:22:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18266888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oreob1tch/pseuds/oreob1tch
Summary: "You can't date a fan, you can't date another idol and you certainly can't date your bandmate. So don't be silly, Chan. I'm not worth the trouble."





	Between the Lines

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for the longest time, seriously. And i finally got to post this, yay!   
> If you like this, please let me know,it means a LOT
> 
> Also i wrote this on my phone so there are probably typos and mistakes every now and then :) excuse that please

_Part 1:_  
It's the first time Chan has ever felt like this in his entire life. Sure, he's had few crushes here and there but it's never been this serious.

At first, he didn't even know what he was dealing with. The sickening feeling he got every time their eyes met made him think there's something wrong with him and for few weeks he actually thought he was sick. But as the time went by and the two of them were spending more and more time together, he came to the realization that he liked Minho. Not more than the rest of the team, just in a different way.

There are plenty of things he likes Minho for; his dancing skills are out of this world, his patience with other members, his gentle side showing as he's teaching them all the right moves. He makes dancing look so easy.  
His sense of humor. Chan likes how it's just on the verge of being straight up mean, he likes to hear what Minho can come up with to tease the other members.

And among many others, his visuals. Obviously, every single one of them looks stunning with their make up done professionally, with their hair styled up and outfits carefully chosen by their stylists. But there's something about Minho's appearance in the morning, when he's barely awake, hair tousled and face bare that makes Chan go weak in the knees.

He was in denial for a long time. Not because he was terrified of being attracted to another guy, couldn't care less honestly, but because being an idol and having feelings for someone is a bad combination and usually means trouble.

But as time goes by, their debut promotions end and they almost immediately start to work on another album, something in Chan just clicks. It's probably because Minho's getting more and more obvious with his certain preferences, making inappropriate jokes all the time and being very, very touchy with others. At first, he thinks nothing of it. They're all very close, cuddling and being clingy is nothing new and definitely doesn't mean they're all super gay.

Except Minho is super gay, as he finds out one night. He can't sleep, as usual, and so can't Minho. They're sitting in the living room, staring at the black screen of their tv. They're not going to turn it on, it's just less awkward than looking at each other.

"Can I tell you something?" Minho asks after a while. His voice trembles a little as if he's nervous.

"Sure. Go ahead." Chan nods even though the younger probably can't see anyway because it's so dark in there.

"Would you.." his voice breaks and the leader wordlessly reaches for Minho's hand. "Would you judge me if I told you I'm into boys?"

The confirmation that this statement brings makes Chan's head spin. "Of course not. I could never. It doesn't make you any less talented or anything. I took you into my team for a reason, Minho. And the reason wasn't you being straight."

They share a moment of silence that's finally not as heavy as it was before.

"Don't tell anyone. Please." The dancer's voice is back to normal.

"I won't. I promise. Go to sleep, Minho. You need it." And so does he, he's aware, bit how could he sleep now, knowing that Minho is in fact attracted to guys. Chan's not stupid and he knows that just because he's into guys doesn't necessarily mean he's into him, but there's a slight chance that he could fall for him if Chan tries hard enough.

He barely gets any sleep that night, even less than usual. But seeing Minho's wide smile in the morning is better than eight hours of sleep and countless cups of coffee.  
***  
He's absolutely head over heels for him, Chan soon realizes. Thankfully, he's good at keeping his emotions well hidden, but it's getting harder each day as Minho gets more affectionate. Not only with him, but with everyone, which kind of keeps him sane, knowing he's not the only target of Minho's affection.

But sometimes, sometimes he is. There has been many nights when Minho showed up in Chan's studio and kept him company for the night, listening to him talking about new tracks or just sitting there on the couch while Chan is working. More often than not, he also brings food and water and makes sure that Chan's not dying. Moments like this makes the leader  fall for him even harder.

He even finds himself writing love songs. Sure, no one knows who it's about and Stray Kids won't release a love song any time soon, not with their current concept. But the fact that he's even working on them scares him a little.

He's so infatuated with the younger boy and with each day, he's getting braver and braver. This has been going on for months and he's finally ready to take a move.

He's so nervous as if he's going to propose. He's restless and even the others notice. He waves it off, says that it's nothing and just had too much coffee. When the practice is over, he tells Minho to stay behind because he needs to talk to him. The dancer frowns but nods and sits down. Chan starts freaking out.

Once everyone's out, Chan walks over to Minho and sits down on the floor with him. His heart is going crazy, thumping against his ribcage erratically, the older feels like he can hear it and so can the boy next to him.

He opens his mouth to finally start talking but Minho reaches over and puts his palm over his lips. "Save your breath, Chan hyung. I know what this is about and you won't like this."

His heart sinks. Minho knows?  
He can tell, from the way the younger is looking at him, sad, almost guilty.

"I noticed. The way you started treating me, after I came out to you. At first, I thought it was just to make me feel more comfortable around you again. But now I know it wasn't about that."  
Finally, he uncovers Chan's mouth again, putting both of his hands into his lap. "I love you, hyung. You're an amazing leader and if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here today. That's why I'm gonna tell you this as it is and won't sugar-coat it. I know you have a crush on me. And I'm flattered but you yourself should know that this is a big no no for us. You can't date a fan, you can't date another idol and you certainly can't date your bandmate. So don't be silly, Chan. I'm not worth the trouble. Moreover, there are more important things to worry about, like our upcoming comeback. You need to focus on that."

He doesn't give him a chance to say something, stands up and gets ready to leave. "I'm sorry, really. It's for the best though."

Chan doesn't sleep that night, at all, and cries for few long hours in the living room. At one point he hears one of the bedroom doors open and he's pretty sure it's Minho but this time he doesn't join him, instead he goes back into the room.

***

 _Part 2:_  
Hyunjin jumps on his bed, landind on Chan in the process, and giggles when the older of the two groans. He pushes him off gently and sits up, rubbing his eyes with his palms.  "What's up?"

It's still pretty dark outside and because it's September and the Sun rises pretty early, it can't be more than five in the morning.

"You need to wake up, we need to pick up the cakes and get stuff ready!" Hyunjin whispers, tugging on Chan's shirt. "Hyung! Get up! I wanna surprise Jisung and Felix as soon as possible!"

Chan giggles and looks over to check if Changbin's still asleep, which he is. "Of course, yeah I'm up, stop poking me!" He playfully slaps off Hyunjin's hand. "We can't surprise them as soon as they wake up though. I talked to Jacob few days ago and some of them will come over to celebrate with us."

Hyunjin's face lights up. During the last few months, he got even closer to Sunwoo from The Boyz, and they're basically best friends right now. Due to their hectic schedules, there are not many opportunities for them to hang out so any moment he can spend with his new BFF is very valuable for him, which Chan finds adorable. He also got closer to some of them, especially Jacob and Younghoon. After the Minho fiasco that happened last year before their I am Who promotions,he really needed someone to be his unbiased emotional support and those two were exactly that. They don't really know what happened but they didn't mind not knowing and were there for him anyway.

And now, year and a month later, when they're about to celebrate Jisung's and Felix's twentieth birthday (even though the Australian in him still prefers nineteenth birthday, because it's 2019, after all, damn it Korean age), he can finally say he's over it, mostly. It's hard to move on completely when he sees the dancer on a daily basis.   
But he's better than he was few months ago and that's a progress and it's good enough for him.

Few minutes later, Chan is ready to go but they still have few hours before any stores even open. It's their rare day off and he could really use some sleep but Hyunjin is so excited, he doesn't have the heart to tell him no.

They end up cuddling on the couch, watching Netflix on Chan's laptop and as soon as the clock hits eight, Hyunjin jumps up, dragging Chan along.

"We have so much to do, I can't wait to see their reactions!"

Chan only smiles at him, seeing his fellow bandmates happy makes him happy too.

He finally gets up and puts on his shoes and grabs his car keys. They drive to the bakery and pick up the cakes. Chan has to admit, they look beautiful. Hopefully,no one will drop anything this time.  
Then they drive to a supermarket to buy what they need and some snacks that they definitely don't need but Hyunjin insists.

"Who's coming, from The Boyz, anyway?" He asks on the way home.

"As far as I know, only Eric, Sunwoo, Haknyeon and Jacob," he replies just as they arrive home. Without many difficulties, they manage to grab all their groceries and the cakes (Hyunjin takes the cakes while Chan struggles with all the bags) and bring it all into the dorms.

They started preparing food and everything else for the party. At one point, Jisung comes out of his room still half asleep but Seungmin pushes him right back in,telling him to stay inside unless they call for him. He hasn't come out since, probably fast asleep again.

Then the other boys come over and the party finally starts. Everything is going great, both Jisung and Felix are ecstatic over the cakes and the fact that we put effort into doing this for them. Chan even earns a big smooch from Jisung who's basically over the moon. They talk a lot, eat a lot and laugh even more. Felix and Eric are cuddling on the couch, flipping through a book that Eric gifted him.

Chan is actually enjoying himself. He and Jacob have a lot to talk about,so many things to catch up on.  
It's only when Jacob mentions that they should get going that he notices Minho and Haknyeon missing. He realizes that they haven't been there with the rest for a while now. Chan decides to find them so that he can tell Haknyeon that they're about to leave. He looks into the kitchen but no one's there, so they're probably in Minho's room.

He doesn't even think about knocking first and his heart drops as soon as he enters the room.

Haknyeon is sitting on Minho's lap, the older boy's hands under the other one's shirt, and they're kissing. Straight up making out.  
In front of Chan. Who only manages to let out a choked sound and leaves the room immediately, blinking away the tears that start forming in his eyes.

He walks past Jacob, quickly, and hides in his room, door locked. He hears their guests say goodbye and Jacob knocks on the door. "Text me, if you need to talk, okay?"

Chan hums and is not even sure if the other boy heard, but he doesn't care. He's hurt, sad, upset and feels betrayed.

Can't date another idol? My ass, he thinks as he angrily pulls his blanket up to his chin. Stupid excuses. And he believed that Minho actually meant well.

He falls asleep and wakes up few hours later when Changbin starts banging on the door to let him in. He quickly walks to the door and apologizes to the younger as he lets him in.

"Fuck, hyung. Are you okay? I thought you were feeling sick when you left but...were you crying?"

Just when he's about to reply, Minho enters the room, frowning at youngest of the three. "Get out for a minute,will you?"

Changbin narrows his eyes. "What? No! It's my room too!" But when he sees Chan's expression, he sighs. "Fine. I wanted to make myself some tea anyway."

He closes the door on his way out and Minho sits down on his bed. "Well...now you know."

"Is this all?" Honestly, the leader doesn't even want to be in Minho's presence. "Great, you can leave now."

"What's wrong with you?" Minho raises his voice,  obviously angry. As if he has the right. The audacity honestly disgusts Chan.

"What's wrong with me? Really? What about you! What's wrong with you? What happened to the 'we can't date another idol', huh?"

Minho starts laughing, the sound somewhat ugly and bitter. "So this is what it's about. Are you jealous?"

"Shut up, at least shut up! You're putting the whole group at risk with this!"

"Stop yelling at me just because you're mad I don't want you! I know what I'm doing, Jesus Christ!"

The words hurt more that they should. Chan takes few steps back. "Fine. But if it gets out, I won't even try to keep you in the band."

"I wouldn't even expect it from you."

He slams the door when leaving. Chan grabs his jacket and keys and leaves to the studio. His phone is on the bedside table and he tells no one where he's going. He needs to be alone.

****

 _Part 3:_  
They make him cry on his birthday. The schedule has been crazy for the past week so he's honest to God surprised they even had the energy to get him something.

Minho doesn't join them when they're singing happy birthday to him and leaves right after practice, even though Chan invites them all out to eat and promises to pay for them.

He's not home when they get there and few hours later, when Jacob calls to congratulate him, he can hear his voice in the background.

The less time he spends around Minho, the  better he feels. And when the dancer is around, he ignores him more often than not, only talking to him when necessary. The others noticed, obviously, as the two of them used to be quite big on skinship.  
When they're in public, Chan forces himself to act friendly towards Minho for the fans' sake but off stage and off camera, he doesn't try, he doesn't need to pretend.

The kids don't ask and Woojin thinks that Chan's upset because Minho got himself a boyfriend despite the no date rule the company has. Which is partly true, so he didn't try to tell him otherwise. Half truths are better than lies.

As they're getting closer to Halloween, they're told they're going to film a show for fans that will be uploaded to their vlive and youtube channel.

The script looks okay. It's just the right amount of spooky and funny, something the audience will definitely enjoy. For the first time in a month, he's excited for something.

The whole program will be divided into three separate episodes but the whole thing will take only one day and one night to film.

Just as he finished packing for their one night trip and left his bedroom to get something to eat, the front door swings open and Jisung gets in, holding shivering Minho by his waist. The dancer is drunk off his mind, that much is obvious. Chan's just surprised that he didn't notice Jisung leaving. As they're walking past him to Minho's room, he notices that he's crying. He doesn't ask because he keeps telling himself he doesn't care.

He reheats some leftovers for himself and few minutes later, Jisung comes out of Minho's room.

"He's finally asleep," he announces as if anyone asked. Chan says nothing.

"You might wanna call Jacob and tell him to talk to Haknyeon," Jisung says as he sits across the table. Chan doesn't even look up.

"Why would I. It has nothing to do with me nor Jacob."

"Minho hyung is heartbroken!"

"That's none of my business, that's between him and Haknyeon," the leader shrugs. Jisung barks out a bitter laugh, almost mean sounding.

"Are you for real? Minho's our friend!"

"Then you call him! I couldn't care less! They're good at doing stuff behind my back, why are you telling me now? It's Minho's personal life that has nothing to do with me." He finally looks up. Not only Jisung but also Seungmin and Woojin are staring at him. Jisung slams his fist on the table.

"I don't give a fuck what's going on between you two but if you're not willing to help him I'm not willing to do my best tomorrow on the set. How can you call yourself a leader and then act like this? Playing favorites, really? Fuck you then, Chan."

Finally, Seungmin speaks up. "Shut up, Jisung. You're the one to talk about favorites. You're so desperate to help Minho hyung but did you help Chan hyung when he was heartbroken himself? If you're such a good friend, why don't you take care of him yourself huh?"

"Because I'm not the one he kept calling for on the way home, that's why!" There's so much anger and sadness in Jisung's voice and he finally breaks down crying.

"Do you think I don't want to help him? Don you think I didn't want to help Chan hyung? But Minho doesn't want me and Chan didn't either. He had Jacob and Younghoon.."

Chan feels like an ass. He quickly reaches for the younger boy's hand and pulls him into a tight hug. He was so concerned about himself and his own feelings that he completely overlooked everyone else's.

"I'm so sorry, Jisungie. I'm so sorry."

"I thought we were best friends. You know? I wanted to help you. I wanted to do something. But every time I suggested cuddling or anything,really, you rejected me. I miss you, Chan hyung. I miss spending time with you." They're both ugly crying now. Seungmin clears his throat awkwardly.

"So...what exactly happened to Minho hyung?"

Jisung wipes his eyes and sniffles. "Well, looks like Haknyeon hyung wasn't as serious about them as Minho was. They got into a fight and next thing I know, Minho is drunk and needs me to pick him up. It'll be pretty rough for him in the morning."

Chan feels like a dick once again. As soon as Jisung says what happened, Chan thinks "serves him right" before he realizes that that's seriously a dick move. Minho was right after all, he's upset just because he didn't want him but Haknyeon.

Seungmin leaves to the bathroom and gets back with some painkillers. He fills a glass with water and hands it both to Chan.

"Give it to him. Or at least place it on his bedside table so he can take it in the morning. He needs you. And you're the leader so man the fuck up, hyung."

Chan can't even express how grateful he is for his members that can put him back in his place when needed.

So he takes the pills and the water and walks over to Minho's room, opens the door carefully and sighs in relief when he sees that the dancer is fast asleep.   
Just as he's putting the glass down on the bedside table, Minho opens his eyes.

"Chan?"

"Hey buddy... Go back to sleep, I just brought you some water."

Totally ignoring what Chan just said, he takes the glass and gulps it all down. Then he lies back down. "I messed up,Chan."

"Hey, it's alright," the older sits on the edge of Minho's bad. "You have to sleep now,though, okay? We have a lot to do tomorrow."

Minho tugs on his sleeve, trying to get him down beside him. "Please don't leave me here alone." And something inside Chan, probably the feelings that never really went away, makes him stay. He lies down beside Minho and pulls him in for a hug.  
All the anger, sadness and bitterness he's felt for the past couple of months disappears once he holds the younger boy in his arms. As if it's the only thing he needs.  
The younger shifts in his arms. "Will you be here when I wake up?"

Chan hums. "Of course I will. You gotta sleep now, though."  
It's Minho's turn to hum now and soon enough, his breathing evens out. Eventually, even Chan falls asleep.

***

 _Part 4:_  
There's so much Chan wants to talk about, that he wants to ask Minho, but with the staff and filming crew around, it's actually pretty difficult.

The morning after Minho came home drunk was a bit awkward for them both. Ages ago, they used to cuddle a lot but with all the things that has happened, it felt foreign and strange.

Chan didn't get a chance to talk to the younger boy in private then, but now, as the crew starts packing up and they're getting ready to leave, he takes the risk and sits down next to Minho in the car. Jisung frowns because he wanted to be next to his favorite hyung and now he has to sit elsewhere.

Minho smiles at Chan, a bit stiff. "I think this will come out great. Stays will enjoy this, don't you think?"

"Minho," he takes both of his hands into his and the shorter boy looks at him all panicked. "Why did you want me to help you? Why did you want me to stay with you? We're not even as close as you are with Jisung... So why me?"

Minho doesn't reply for a whole long minute, so Chan swallows the lump in his throat and asks: "Were you taking advantage of my feelings for you?"

"As if you still like me," the dancer snorts, brushing his jet black hair out of his face. "I missed my chance at that long time ago."

Chan looks up to see that the staff is not paying any attention to them and lowers his voice down to a whisper. "What do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean, hyung? I messed up, rejected you and to move on, found someone who didn't even like me that much. Back then, I thought I was doing the right thing, ignoring my own feelings, sacrificing my own happiness for the band, for you, and I don't regret it, not really. But at the same time I just wish I wasn't such a coward back then and told you how I felt."

There's a heavy silence between them after that. Neither of them dares to break it. Then some of the members get in the car with them and they stay silent all the way to their dorms.

Chan bursts into the younger boy's room after dinner.

"Did you like me?"

Minho doesn't even look up.

"Didn't I make it obvious? Spending countless nights with you in the studio, coming out to you specifically, being super touchy with you... I didn't try to hide it."

For some reason, it only upsets Chan. "But you rejected me! You broke my fucking heart Minho!"

"Because I didn't want you to get in trouble," Minho says quietly. "When I first started dating Haknyeon and JYP found out, I got suspended for three days from practice.. to 'self reflect'. Didn't you notice? And that was because I got into relationship with another idol. Can you imagine what would happen if we started dating? You're the leader, Chan! You hold us all together, I couldn't risk you being kicked out!"

Jeongin walks into the room but backs off quite quickly when he notices the tension in the room. "I'll come back later..."

Chan laughs. "Come back. Minho and I are going for a walk anyway."

"We are?" The dancer looks at him confused. "Oh..yea...we are." He throws on a hoodie and Chan grabs a jacket that is actually Minho's and drags the younger out of the appartment and down the stairs into the garage, where he unlocks his car and lets the boy get in.

As soon as he's behind the steering wheel, he lets out a breath he doesn't know he was holding. "Do you like me still?"

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know. Depends on your answer. Do you still like me? If you do, we're going on a date. If not, we're going grocery shopping."

"Hyung, we talked about this. We can't date."

"Yes. Yes we can. Stray Kids are a big thing now, aren't we. Do you think JYP would risk breaking us up?"

Minho sighs, obviously tired of Chan's shit. "And you wanna risk it?"

"For you? Yes. I've been ready to risk for over a year. Do you still like me, Minho?"

They end up going on a date. To a grocery store because they ran out of few things. They walk really close to each other while pushing the cart, holding hands while hiding them in the pocket of Minho's hoodie.

They're a work in progress. Take things slow. When they tell the members, Jisung yells out "fucking finally" and everyone pretty much agrees with him.

They also tell JYP, who isn't as happy about it and they have to keep it very down-low, but they don't get in any trouble. Chan was right, they're too important for the company to be broken apart.

They work on their communication, are more honest to each other and others. And they're very good at keeping their relationship secret.  
But if someone notices the way they look at each other, or talk together, and mentions it in the comments under their videos... Who are they to deny?

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna, you can talk to me on twitter or Instagram (on both @_candystyx_)


End file.
